Web Gems: The Miami Locker Room

LeBron James Is the officially the new MJ... Just not the way we thought

March 6, 2011. Mark it down as the day LeBron James has finally ascended to heights of which we haven’t seen since his Airness last danced on the hardwood for last time.

Before I go further let me give you a “500 Days of Summer”-like forewarning: I should tell you from the outset, that I am no Heat fan, and as a New Yorker, I don’t know if LeBron James himself volunteering to play on my JCC basketball team would even get me to like him once again. (Obviously joking, I’m all about the 4 inch trophies baby!)

“Michael Jordan!” That was the name exclaimed as I watched my older brother ascend to new heights and throw down a monster dunk. Of course I was 4 years old and the hoop was about as tall as he was. But nevertheless, Michael became synonymous with the sport when he inherited the title from the hands of Magic and Bird (who just held it up high enough so that little 5’11 Isiah Thomas couldn’t reach it.) And ever since Michael gracefully walked into the sunset a champion (as it is now recently been revealed that Michael’s older, fatter, slower brother Kenny was in fact the one who played for the Wizards… Fact. Google it.) fans and beat writers and even non-basketball fans have been waiting in anticipation for the next great one; the next one to captivate our minds; the next Michael.

Then in 2003, this kid, beit a 6’8, 245 lb monster of a kid, came into the league with all these expectations on his shoulders. And for the most part, he attacked them head on like Jared Jeffries was the only one in the lane stopping him. But what LeBron, his yes-men, and I came to realize is that this was no Jared Jeffries standing in his way - this was more like Dwight Howard, Shaq, Kobe Bryant, Grant Hill, Kevin Garnett, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady and Harold Minor all standing in some sort of pyramid – the point is, he was never going to do it.

Then – the stroke of genius. This is when I point to the wrestling as the benchmark for society’s trends. Case in point: Hulk Hogan and Michael Jordan were almost treated that same and in very many ways they had a similar standing in society. For whatever reason, their records were squeaky clean, and the kids loved it. Then Stone Cold Steve Austin (and Willa Ford) came around and it became good to be bad. Suddenly to become squeaky clean was old, and the Hulkster had to look to the nWo to revive his career. And now look at him…. Err bad example…

The Decision comes along and suddenly LeBron James had his ticket. While he never could live up to the bar that MJ had previously set, what if he used a former champion (Dwyane Wade ← who btw just became the new Brett Favre with his spelling) and Avatar to stick the bar up the fans ass and on the way down give the Stone Cold ‘F U’.

The fans didn’t want a hero. Like what was said in Spiderman, they’ll love you for a while, then spit you out when they’re tired of seeing you. See, what the fans really want is drama. If LeBron goes and wins 10 championships in Cleveland, so what? He’d be mentioned in the same breath as Michael Jordan and Bill Russell. If he averages a triple double, he’d be mentioned with the Big O, (Oscar Robertson, not what Delonte West gave LeBron’s mom. Sorry couldn’t resist.) Now, by bringing all this, for a lack of a better term, Heat on himself he suddenly stands alone as the singularly most hated individual in the NBA … yes even more hated than Ron Artest, and he punches fans in the face.

Now every night LeBron faces crowds on the edge of their seat waiting for LeBron to brain-fart. When his team lost 4 in a row this week, 3 of them close (and one at the hands of my Knickerbockers!!!) suddenly the teary-eyed Miami locker room became the talk of the town. They’re failures are all over the back pages!

What’s missing in all this hoopla, is that this drama is bringing the casual fan back into the sport – even if it’s to sit 3 rows away from him and to curse him out.

He has become the new-aged hero. The one we love to hate. He gives us all the reasons to hate him and he vows to shove it down our throat for doubting him, but in the end, that’s all we ever really wanted.

Web Gems: Swaggerlicious Entrance... Boxing Fail

The Carmelo Topping

I remember where I was when the trade went through; on the couch where I often found myself falling asleep to SportsCenter or a Knicks in 60. Needless to say, as a Jets and Knicks fan, I considered it both very plausible and equally likely that I was dreaming since for as long as I’ve been a competent thinker, I’ve known my favorite teams to swing and miss at these opportunities as if Richie Sexson was running the team. (Richie Sexson, a 6’9 former? MLB 1st Baseman ironically would probably be a better fit for these new look Knicks than Jared Jeffries.)

Back to the story. It wasn’t until the next morning, back on that same couch when the “I’m Coming Home” commercial came on that it finally sunk in. When the “I know my kingdom awaits...” lyrics came on the screen and the helicopter view of the Garden was shown I started to get chills; and the good kind, not the kind that LeBron James gets when he tries to cross the street without Dwyane Wade holding his hand. What we were getting in Carmelo Anthony wasn’t a “Stephon Marbury.” Carmelo Anthony is a bonified scorer, someone who can create a shot in more than a variety of ways, utilizing his quickness with the best first step in the league; a post game that would make Dwight Howard jealous; or simply continuing on the NBA record for the most “long-lost art of the mid-range jumper” references by commentators in an NBA season. We’re currently at 639 this season.

And the so-called ‘costly’ package we gave up of Winky Chandler, Danny Gallinari, Ray Felton, Eddy Curry, Sir Anthony Randolph, Ivan Drago and some picks that probably won’t be useful since we fully expect them to be in the 25-30 range anyway are all great pieces, and while I loved them while they were here, let’s be real: they’re pieces to put around a player like Carmelo Anthony. By now I think you would know if Danilo’s career was leaning more towards the Dirk Nowitzki end of the see-saw or more the Hedo Turkoglu. I hated getting rid of Felton too, but it took all of 6 seconds into the first game for Chauncey Billups to look comfortable in the offense. Wilson Chandler? Yeah, I’d like to have him on my bench but you simply do not hold out on the opportunity to set your whole future up in an instant.

Yes, the roster as it is may seem as bare as Jared Jeffries without a shirt on, (Jared Jeffries insult #2 for those keeping score) but so what?! Role players are replaceable and the oh-so-needed defensive-minded big man are likely never going to have to cash an unemployment check.(Welfare, however may be entirely different issue) Lest we forget about the veterans a la Shaquille O’Neal, Mike Bibby, Big Z... etc, etc on the downside of their career interested only in experiencing the feeling of placing a ludicrously-oversized ring on those digits. You could be damn sure those guys weren’t coming here to play with Jared Jeffries (#3).

New York, why not concentrate on what we actually do have on this team now?

1. Two truly elite scorers in STAT and Melo. That means no more waiting for Eddy Curry to develop; No more pretending Stephon Marbury is a dominant force; No more blaming Allan Houston for never becoming what he never was; and no more hoping that Larry Johnson develops Wolverine’s mutant healing abilities. We now have 2 (probably 3) guys that could literally change the game at will, and even more so now because there just happens to be two of them and defensive minds can't just send the hounds at them.
   
   
2. Two elite rebounders at their position in Carmelo Anthony and Landry Fields, albeit neither of them play a traditionally rebounding position, it makes a difference especially when you’re playing Ronnie Turiaf as if this was 2004 and he was still playing for Gonzaga.
   
   
3. A real leader of a point guard in Chauncey Billups, a guy who still has something to prove and was a #2 pick of the draft. Oh yeah, did we mention that he was the NBA Finals MVP? If come crunch time in a playoff game is there any other point guard you'd want with the ball in their hands? Which brings us to...
   
   
4. We now have 3 of the most clutch players in the NBA in our own Big 3. In one season we went from having question marks taking shots to legitimate studs... and while a question mark may have pretty decent form, they really don't have too much lift on that period. (English humor...so sue me!)
   
   
5. Overnight New York went from being “The place you could make a lot of money and gain a lot of exposure since its a big market” to “a place that you could win a championship in a huge market.” See how much that makes Dwight Howard or Chris Paul's spidey-senses tingle.
   

So in short, New York, get over your emotions. While you’re out complaining that we gave up too much, you’re missing out on the makings of a perennial contender. And for God’s sake, please stop calling for the Knicks to sign Troy Murphy or Earl Barron. That kind of thinking got Patrick Ewing traded for 75 Jared Jeffrieses (What’s that like #6? He sucks. Get it?!) The only advantage you guys have over Donnie Walsh is your assumed superior mobility. That’s it! Stop trying to band-aid a long term goal! Truly if the fans had it their way we might have ended up with Bosh Spice and Joe Johnson right now instead of STAT and Melo.

We’re well on our way, long-suffering Knicks followers. And as I see it, anything short of Carmelo or Amare suffering a freak accident slipping on a frozen draft envelope in practice, we just might have the team we have all been dreaming of for over a decade.

He went to Jared?!