The Playoff Picture through the Eyes of a Yankee fan

Finally… Baseball has come back…. to ChewThemOut.com! ::Applause:: ::WWE lawsuit::

Somebody had to break up the football monotony. Well here it is...

Perhaps all you Yankee-hating brethren had written them off too early. And best of all as you watched the Yankees ascend towards the peak of the Major league standings, these same people are watching their own ‘insurmountable’ September leads shrink faster than Raphael Palmiero in the bedroom.

But let’s take a Bob Ross-like view of the playoff landscape, from the point of view of the Yankee fans. The exciting Brewers-Cubs race? We really don’t care. There are really just four teams the Yankees are worried about: The Red Sox, the Angels, The Mets and the Yankees.

The Red Sox

As it stands, the Red Sox and the Yankees are both in. And any Red Sox fan cannot feel too pleased about that. With Eric Gagne’s newfound horribility, Okajima’s fatigued arm, Manny’s being Manny and all the innings suddenly taking its effect on Dice-K’s arm, it would be safe to say all’s not well in Beantown. Hey you could hang your newly purchased faded hat on Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell but we both know it’s going to take more than that and Kevin Youkillis HBP’s to get past the Yankees.

The Yankees

And as for those Yankees, it’s funny that with the performance-enhanced lineup that the Yankees put out in the beginning of the season, that all you needed was a little Joba with Melky to make it potent. (Barry Bonds just took about 19 of those) Their enthusiasm has resurrected a once-dead clubhouse, and given the fair-weather Yankee-lovers something to watch other than A-Rod do his best impression of his MVP year with the Rangers. But even as good as the Yankees look, they still don’t want to face the Angels.

The Angels

Unless the Yanks were to surpass the Angels in the standings, it seems as if they’re headed for a round one collision with destiny against a team that’s always been their Kryptonite. With their three-headed monster of unheralded aces in Kelvim Escobar, John Lackey and Jared Weaver; compounded with a small-ball team and a glove-less batter who hits intentional walks for average its safe to say the other guys aren’t exactly jumping to play against them either. And if the playoff picture holds up, it seems as if this might be the team to beat.

The Mets

And as a New Yorker, I really do feel for you Mets fans. Not only do you cheer when Boston makes fun of New Yorkers, since you hate the Yankees more than you love yourselves, but your confidence is now shaken. Just when you thought you were on the cusp of goodness (let’s be real now), you realize that perhaps you were a little drunk when you took that hot supermodel home. I hold out hope, because the Mets are still the best team in the National League (as long as they don’t smell cheesesteak) and should have an express ticket for the World Series to play a vastly superior AL team. But hey, chances are the Yankees won’t be there. So I guess you’ll be happy first, and sad second.

Toon Them Out: Beckham to the US

Originally posted at ChewThemOut.com by Lynsey Brandwein.

Kiss My Asterisk

There's no more denying it. No hoping that his plaguing injuries of the past few years keep him from ever returning to the plate. No more wishing that his battle worn knees give out while he's patrolling left field. Hell, even your last ditch option of a disgruntled Dodgers fan taking one for the team via 12mm steel is nothing more than a sick, twisted fantasy.

With the media running rampant nowadays, it is often hard to determine the difference between the biased, agenda driven hype material presented as fact... and actual fact. Want hype? Tune in to your local sports station to hear how Barry Bonds: framed Michael Vick, spat on white people, was the mastermind behind 9/11, killed The OC's Marissa Cooper, and tested positive for steroids.

But the facts... and I suggest you Bonds haters get yourself a nice tall glass of water, because this pill might be hard to swallow: Barry Bonds is the 43 year old left-fielder for the San Francisco Giants. And, as of the time of this writing, he is as good of a home run hitter as any man in history.

Home runs seem to be everyone's obsession. Chicks dig the long ball, and writers like throwing steroid accusations at the guys who hit them. Stop your blind hatred for a minute and try to be objective. Who knows? Maybe then you'll realize that the man who just blasted the legendary Hank Aaron off of the Home Run Throne and into McCovey Cove like a belt-high fastball... the "steroid taking cheater"... the "self-absorbed asshole"... is so much more than a home run hitter.

Mark McGwire is a home run hitter. Sammy Sosa is a home run hitter. Mashers with .270 career batting averages. They strike out and pop up. They have the defensive prowess of Eddy Curry. Basically, when they're not knocking the ball out of the park, they're not helping their teams.

But Bonds? The man is a HITTER, period. Not a "power hitter". Not a "contact hitter." Placing him in any one of these groups is a huge injustice. He is Major League Baseball's walking buffet table.

You want power? Bonds hit 25+ home runs in fourteen different seasons -- including four times while wearing his anorexic Pittsburgh Pirate costume. He hit 40+ home runs in eight different seasons.

Forget power, though... lets say you need a baserunner. Well, there is NOBODY better than Bonds here. "Barroid" posted an on base percentage of .400+ in 17 of his 21 MLB seasons, including a "WTF" mind-numbing .609 in 2004.

But whatever, old ladies can draw walks. You want guys in scoring position? Just give Bonds the sign and watch him steal second. Yep, in addition to his absurd power numbers, the man was also one of the best base stealers of his time, racking up 25+ steals in 12 different seasons.

Need some defense? Eight Gold Gloves says that #25 measures up here as well.

So as we bicker back and forth about whether or not his accusations should taint his title as "Home Run King"... I think that it is a moot point. Because if I'm Barry Bonds, with a bag of tricks that would make Harry Houdini jealous, I would be offended by that title, which insinuates a one-dimensional player.

Has he taken steroids? Probably. Certainly, according to every washed up outfielder with a pressing need to sell books (Money management is overrated, huh?). I'm not going to play dumb here. But it's easy to throw accusations around. Even someone with a girly arm like Johnny Damon could toss those out there. Hell, we can be 99% sure that Bonds is a juicer. The majority of us are 99+% sure that OJ Simpson killed his wife... but no matter what we may think about it, the burden of proof is what it is. Until you show up with a urine sample saying otherwise, the only thing Bonds has ever tested positive for are amphetamines -- and you can ask Neifi Perez how much those help in hitting the ball out of the park.

Don't get me wrong...while I don't share it, I can understand the hatred for the man. I'm not a Bonds fan boy by any means. I think he is incredibly arrogant. I think he has a horrible attitude toward his fans. He refuses to bend to the media's wishes. As a person, he sucks. But, so what? Nobody is nominating the man for sainthood.

He's never going to be the face of a major corporation. He's never going to be a billion dollar clothing tycoon. He's never going to be a media darling. We have enough of those, very few of whom possess talent in even the same stratosphere as Bonds. They get the fat endorsement checks and the public adoration.

But Bonds? He doesn't want any of that. He wants his family, his privacy, and his legacy.

While he may suck hardcore as a celebrity, the man is a baseball player. One whose career is winding down. One who is soon to ride off into the sunset, away from the public eye that he's battled with for 22 years. In all likelihood, there are about two months left in the life of Barry Bonds: Baseball Player.

With his accomplishments forcing him into the forefront of the sports world, it is impossible to ignore him.

So, the decision is ours. We can either spend these last few months hating the MAN we hardly know (as much as we think we do)...

Or, we can spend them celebrating the career of the PLAYER who was the greatest of his time.

Originally posted at ChewThemOut.com by Mario Castelli

No-Brainers

If anything was evident in the Vegas Summer league, it was that the Greg Odens and the Kevin Durants were not as ready for the NBA as the Lebrons or the Carmelos.

Say what you will about Durant’s so-called “scoring ability,” simple fact is that he was outplayed almost every time he stepped onto the court. And people were so worried about him getting pushed around by the bigger guys, but it was Renaldo Balkman’s stringy self that was trying Durant down.

What I saw out of Durant was a guy who pretty much looked like what he is: The younger kid who was too good and too big for the kids his age, so the powers-that-be moved him up to the big boys.

The problem is that unlike the college level, these guys are going to be just as athletic, just as tall, or both. And he’s always going to be skinnier, at least for the first couple years. He simply wasn’t ready for the jump.

Oden, on the other hand, had scouts drooling last year as if he was Jessica Biel in a bikini. But the problem is that he too was not ready. I remember hearing from a commentator, “If Greg Oden was in the NBA right now, he’d be on the all-defensive team.”

If the summer league was any indication, that commentator and the masses of his supporters can hold their horses.

Before Oden went and got his tonsils removed like a 8-year-old boy, he looked like an 8-year-old boy, be it a 7’0 260 lb, caveman-looking, 40-year-old, 8-year-old boy. But even he wasn’t ready.

The system is all screwed up. Kids like Oden, Durant, and next year, O.J. Mayo; they are all not ready for the limelight. But they are raised in an educational system where it really doesn’t matter if they pass English class; they have an NBA career ahead of them.

So what’s the point David Stern? What’s the point of waiting a year after High School or not waiting at all? These guys would think they were ready if the age requirement was lowered to sixth grade.

And for every LeBron, how many Kwame Browns are there who ruined their whole life thinking NBA stardom was ahead. Even worse, these guys expect it now. They expect to be stars as soon as they get there.

Then come the Renaldo Balkmans of the world to bring them back to earth, along with all the media that have been along for the ride in their rectal cavities.

I believe in the end this will be a mute point. I believe Durant and Oden will be NBA players. They just aren’t now. But David Stern has to stop pretending that a year of college will do anything for them.

If recent events have shown anything, a year of college can actually hurt your draft stock. Just ask this year’s 9th pick, Joakim Noah, who would have gone #1 last year.

The system is made so that even these uneducated morons can see that it’s really a no-brainer when it comes to staying in college and risking injury among other things, or taking lucrative offers from endorsement companies to promote their products. This is their life-long dream. And unready or not, it’s really not their problem. It’s the NBA and its sponsors.

So why are we acting like its about the education?

Toon Them Out: Yankees in Boston