ChewThemOut Indigestion 1/5/08

Heres the news of the week through the eyes of our very own Anchormen...

• Tom Brady was named NFL MVP almost unanimously. Tom Brady was also unanimously the recipient of the "Everything you could possibly want or have" Award, beating out Derek Jeter and Jay-Z.

• Jose Canseco reached a deal with his publisher to write a sequel to his book, 'Juiced'. Despite co-authoring several chapters, Roger Clemens has denied the book was being published.

• With one year remaining on his contract, JP Losman has announced that he wants out of Buffalo. Buffalo quickly declined as they said having a player like JP Losman goes along with their strategy of being a remarkably average team.

• Martina Hingis was banned from tennis for two years Friday after testing positive for cocaine at Wimbledon earlier this year. Hingis stated, "I never knowingly took cocaine. I think it was tainted Vitamin B-12 powder that Miguel Tejada gave me."

• Bill Parcells fired Miami head coach Cam Cameron after a 1-15 season. James Dolan, owner of the Knicks, was quoted as saying, "You can do that?"

• Speaking of those Knicks, boxer, Roy Jones Jr. practiced with the team earlier this week. After a mediocre showing in practice, the 38-year-old was quickly signed to a 8-year, $120 million contract. Nate Robinson will fight in his stead against Felix Trinidad next Saturday.

• The Oakland Athletics traded fan favorite Nick Swisher to the Chicago White Sox for 3 minor leaguers. The deal also included Oakland receiving cash considerations inexchange for any fan they had left.

• The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the Buffalo Sabres 2-1 in the first professional outdoor game in the United States. Wouldn't that mean that homeless people could take commissions?

• Scottie Pippen returned to action for the Torpan Pojat team in the Finnish Professional League. Pippen scored 9 points then quickly retired after admitting he thought it was the 'Finished league.'

• Reports state that the New Jersey Nets will not move into Brooklyn until 2010 at the earliest. The Knicks however have volunteered to loan them Madison Square Garden as they attempt to win the next WNBA title.

• Longtime Ravens Head Coach, Brian Billick was fired after the GM was told that Billick had "lost the team." Luckily, the team was later found hungry and scared atop a 20-foot tree.

Until next week, you stay classy San Diego...

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