Indigestion - 1/15/08

• Glen Rice is the latest former athlete to join the likes of Mixed Martial Arts. Unfortunately for Rice, the guy hiding in his wife's closet was unaware that he too was in the fight.

• Knicks guard Jamal Crawford has now hit 35 consecutive free-throws, four off the franchise record. More impressive, however is his streak of 3806 consecutive bad shots.

• Reports say that the Atlanta Falcons and USC Coach Pete Carroll were in discussions about the coaching vacancy in Atlanta. Carroll's recommendation: Keep it vacant.
  
  
• Michael Vick could have his sentenced lessened after enrolling in a drug treatment program in prison. Upon learning this, OJ Simpson starting doing crack cocaine, LSD and psychedelic mushrooms.
  
  
• The Jaguars website now has an asterisk on all its loss to the Patriots. They are planning on traveling to San Diego next week.
  
  
• Reports said that the New York Mets had a deal in place which would have landed prized left-hander Johan Santana. However Omar Minaya said the deal fell through when Minaya's mother accidentally hit the power cord of his XBOX360 with the vacuum before he could save it.
  
  
• The Toronto Blue Jays and St. Louis Cardinals are close to a deal in which they would exchange Troy Glaus for Scott Rolen. Holding the deal back, however, is both teams' reluctance to trade their oft-injured star third baseman with steroid accusations for an oft-injured star third baseman with steroid accusations.
  
  
• Joakim Noah was benched an extra game by teammates for a confrontation with assistant coach Ron Adams in practice. Noah was apparently set off when Adams called him a "nappy-headed ho."
  
  
• Amputee sprinter, Oscar Pistorius was ruled ineligible for the Beijing Olympics after it was ruled that he had an unfair advantage over competitors. This ruling comes as a huge victory to the group who filed the complaint; Marion Jones, Tim Montgomery, Floyd Landis and Barry Bonds.
  
  
• Arkansas running back Darren McFadden, runner-up for the Heisman two years in a row, declared for the draft as expected. Unfortunately, McFadden declared for the wrong draft and is now in Iraq.
  
  
• Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum is expected to miss eight weeks with a "temporarily dislocated kneecap." Perhaps not so coincidental, Nickelodeon announced an eight week Spongebob marathon a day prior.
  
  
• Following the Giants stunning victory over the Cowboys, the Knicks followed suit with a blowout win against the Detroit Pistons. The Pistons were held to less than 31% shooting while scoring only 65 points. In related news, the Devil is in serious but stable condition after acquiring pneumonia from the freezing temperatures in hell.