The Refs Strike Back

I recently took one of my routine trips to the local ‘R Us in search of my ever elusive Wii. After watching some spoiled brat pestering his father to buy him one too, his father acquiesced, and got the last one. THE LAST ONE!
He didn’t deserve it. Not after all the half-assed work and phone calls I had done to find one.

Anyway, the story has a point. The father, at first so reluctant to open his wallet, soon fell sucker to the cry-baby antics of his little brat of a child. And it makes me sick – not just because I don’t have my Wii, but also because these antics worked.

I see the same thing in the sports world. I understand that Tim Duncan shouldn’t be talking back to you. He should just play the game. But I’m sorry Mr. Joey Crawford, as much as you would like to be the main attraction, the reason the fans come to the arenas, YOU'RE NOT. There’s a reason why it says Knicks v. Bulls Tonight in bright lights not JOEY CRAWFORD officiates NBA Game. Thats why you’re on the welfare line.

You see it in football. These instant replays, instead of being the checking tool that they were designed to be have become “oh there isn’t a replay rule for that"-athons in which we waste four minutes of our lives staring at the officials finely tuned ass.

You see it in baseball. In a game of a recent game between the Yankees and the Boston Red Sox the umpire seemed to be on 4-second tape delay, almost to say, “Hey, I want my camera time.”

Then on half swings, the Third Base umpire so vehemently contorts his body, all to make sure that the batter 30 feet away knows whether or not he went around. Believe me a little fist pump would do.

Then in basketball it has become a big problem. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you heard about the Joey Crawford debacle in which he lost his temper and decided to eject Tim Duncan and T up any other people who dare cracked a smile. I’m not saying that he wanted the attention, but seriously, should we know who the officials are other than seeing their names as a sidenote on a box score?

Other than Dick Bavetta’s hilarious footrace against the 400 lb. rent-losing machine in Charles Barkley, the officials shouldn’t even make the news at all.

But what annoys me beyond anything is something I just read in while browsing through the ESPN Message Boards. Apparently it wasn't just me that got the inclination that the refs are 'influencing' games as a response?

I know that’s quite a big scandal, one that might be even more disturbing than Hideki Matsui's 'extensive' porn collection. I know of it’s effect on an internationally popular sport. I don't want to do it but I just get that feeling. I’m just saying that there does seem to be a lot of upsets. And some of these questionable calls do seem to be going one way.

I know somebody else has had to notice. Extra three-second violations on Dallas. A traveling violation on Shaq. Stephen Jackson not getting technical fouls. Blame it on just ‘regular’ officiating but I see it as perhaps a message from the refs: Don’t mess with us.

If this was the case I don’t want it to become a scandal.

I don’t want it to become a black-eye of the sport not induced by a Ron Artest tantrum. I just want the refs to know that I've noticed, and I get the point. YOU WIN! But I’ll keep quiet as long as you call these games with your regular home-field biases. But please don’t ruin these playoffs, Stephen Jackson can do that by himself by leading the Warriors to the championship. He doesn’t need your help.

Jason Paderon is the co-founder, columnist, and cartoonist for ChewThemOut.com. Additionally, he was a news reporter for the Staten Island Advance. He can be reached at paderon@chewthemout.com.